Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.

- David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary 

Oh look what you have done to me. It wasn't the snow on the ground falling around us like flower petals kissed by the ice. or the look in his eyes that stinged me with a feeling of happiness. what was holding me up. wasn't the earth below or it's crust or even it's fiery core. that lifted us here in this moment, in this galaxy. it was his heart howling to the moon inside this chest. that kept us up here floating above even heaven.

- Alyssa  Goodwin.

Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.

RAY BRADBURY

I love you crookedly because my heart’s been unhinged from birth. The doctors gave me strict instructions not to fall in love: my fragile clockwork heart would never survive. But when you gave me a dose of love so powerful - far beyond my wildest dreams - that I felt able to confront anything for you, I decided to put my life in your hands.

MATHIAS MALZIEU, THE BOY WITH THE CUCKOO-CLOCK HEAR

"I wish I had the courage not to fight and doubt everything… I wish, just once, I could say, ‘This. This is good enough.’"

—  Chuck Palahniuk 

People are always shouting they want to create a better future. It’s not true. The future is an apathetic void of no interest to anyone. The past is full of life, eager to irritate us, provoke and insult us, tempt us to destroy or repaint it. The Only reason people want to be masters of the future is to change the past.

You begin to ask yourself.. Which wolf wins?

The answer is simple..

The one you feed.

“A persons a person no matter how small”

—

Dr. Seus

What if clouds and lakes switched spots and every time you looked up you’d see waves being pulled by the moon and we’d wade through the clouds on a hot day. What if birds grew grass and the ground grew feathers. What if flowers were as tall as trees and trees as small as flowers. 

              "THE TREES CAN'T GROW WITHOUT THE SUN IN THEIR EYES AND WE CANT LIVE IF WE'RE TO AFRAID TO DIE."

It's that time. where the wind is cold. And we pull out our sweaters and cover our skin. But for me.. I cover my skin everyday. The wind doesn't have to be cold. I just have to look in the mirror. It transits into the same obscure feeling of cold. just from the inside out. 

You write so
beautifully, the
inside of your
mind must be a
terrifying place 

“And there should also be a word for when you’re just so tired of being sad, for when you are tired of being lonely but somehow don’t know how to stop. When you’re tired of crying, tired of thinking about that person, tired of missing them. You can’t yet make yourself recognize all the bad things; remembering how you’ve been done wrong doesn’t help. But the hurt over the good things, the things you still miss so much, is a dull twist in your stomach now, instead of a gaping hole in your chest. You don’t know how to turn that off, don’t remember how to be happy. But you sort of remember happiness as it existed before that person, and you want that so desperately. You want to stop this misery that drags at your ankles and eyes and insides. You know it will take time, but sometimes just the fact of being tired of crying makes you cry. Maybe we could co-opt a word from Japanese for that, since melancholy is a specialty of theirs.”

People are strange: they are constantly angered by trivial things, 

but one a major matter

like

totally waisting their lives,

They hardly seem to notice....

I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.

I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.

I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can.

- Neil Gaiman 

i’ve wasted pages on you

i wasted ink

and nights

that will never come back

except in the ways

of rushing headaches

and sudden nausea

when i think about all these things

the back-handed compliments 

and the way your voice would crack

when you laughed

maybe i do miss you

doesn’t matter

never did 

Oh good, 
THIS MOOD IS HERE. The one where I climb into bed. Fully clothed at 3pm and stare at the wall. 

FAN-TAS-TIC.

Me Back then. 

I never gave a damn back then, like right now. Only then had been a style, A way of existing. not a diagnosis or demise.

               I like when it rains hard. it sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.

      

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

- Robin Williams

It was so gorgeous it almost felt like sadness.

- Banana Yoshimoto, The Lake 

                                      My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations.

From Left: My Sister, My mother and I

From Left: Bri,Myself,Mother and Sister

It's weird when I look at photo's of the past and recollect on all that has happened throughout this short but long life. It's sad and happy and time flies so fast. There are those you see and leave. Those you always remember, who leave an imprint on your mind and forever grow within it. Those are the people I will always love. 

You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place, I told him, like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.

- Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran (via caskade)

Can you remember who you were, before the world taught you who you should be?

       

                            My photography//

This is of the sky in Rainier,OR

The Sky in St.Johns,OR

This is the sky of Eugene,OR

The evening sky in Portland,OR

The Sky in Scappoose,OR

“The sky is that beautiful old parchment in which the sun and the moon keep their diary.”

—	Alfred Keymborg

I woke up in the morning and I didn't want anything, didn't do anything, 

couldn't do it anyway,

just lay there listening to the blood rush through me and it never made 

any sense, anything.

I see you in colors that don’t exist.

- Paul Matsumoto

“You remember too much,

my mother said to me recently.

Why hold onto all that? And I said,

Where can I put it down?”

—	Anne Carson, from “The Glass Essay”